Surviving Infidelity (Marriage Series pt. 3)


Infidelity or more commonly known as the act of cheating; whether it is emotional or physical tends to be the most damaging facet to a marriage. We tend to go through life thinking that the world revolves around us as an individual and our own personal happiness. This way of thinking is what most commonly leaves a person to cheat. Personal gratification. Be it prolonged or immediate the need for personal satisfaction tends to reign supreme with most people.

A lot of people tend to think that there is no coming back from infidelity; but with hard work and dedication a marriage can actually survive. To rebuild and restructure our relationship after infidelity has occurred is extremely hard though. It will take work from both parties involved to be successful. What hurts the most from an act of cheating is rarely the act itself but rather the loss of trust within the marriage. Trust just like communication is the foundation of any great and successful relationship. Just as I have stress before you need to effectively communicate your wants and needs to your partner you must also trust and be trusted by your partner. Trust just like love is not given rather it is earned.

The hardest thing to overcome is a lost of trust. If your partner does not trust you or conversely if you do not trust your partner your relationship is destined to fail. Now many will question how do you come back once trust has been damaged and or lost? The answer is quite simple believe it or not you must rebuild the trust you must rebuild the communication that was evidently lacking that led to the infidelity.

We building trust is not an easy endeavor. In order to do so you must essentially tear of the relationship apart and start all over fresh. This is even true in relationships that have spanned decades. You must go back to the fundamentals of understanding how and why you loved your partner or your partner love Jew in the first place. You Must strive to get back to the place in which you both fell in love. The place in which you saw no one but that person. The place in which you wanted to be with no one other than your partner.

To understand and overcome infidelity you must understand the different levels of infidelity. Cheating can occur on two fronts; emotional cheating, and physical cheating are two different things. Both are equally damning but both can be overcome. Emotional cheating occurs when you emotionally invest into another person that is not your partner. This can be in person, over the telephone or over the Internet. When you find yourself talking and sharing emotionally with another person that is not your partner or you find yourself hiding call logs, email, inboxes and/or text messages you are already cheating on your partner. This commonly occurs when there is a lack of intimacy and communication within your marriage. Physical cheating we all know is the active having sex with another person that is not your partner. Plain and simple. This occurs most commonly when there is a perceived deficiency with regard to sexual intercourse within your marriage.

These are the most basic and most common breakdowns of the two forms of infidelity. Now many will make him myriad of excuses as to how and why they cheat; the fact of the matter is no matter the reasoning it is still cheating it is still wrong and he can steal destroy your marriage. There is no excuse for cheating of any kind. Cheating in itself is a conscious choice that is most commonly made for selfish reasons.

People like to look at their relationship and assume they are missing something and rather then sit down and communicate these deficiencies with their partner they choose to satisfy those wants, needs and desires via another person.

The cheating is detrimental all is not lost. You can come back from it but you must be willing to be open, honest, and completely vulnerable to bearing your strengths, weaknesses and miss deeds to your partner. You must be willing to humble yourself completely and disclose everything holding nothing back and fully allowing your partner to make the decision as to whether or not they want to continue with the marriage. Some people choose counseling, some people choose to work it out in house so to speak, and many choose to ignore it and sweep it under the rug and just act like it did not happen and continue on with their marriage. No matter your approach, the desire and the need to reconcile our relationship after infidelity has occurred rests solely with the individuals within the relationship.

It sounds very cliché to say but the easiest way to overcome infidelity is to never let it occur in the first place. Be open with one another, communicate effectively with one another, trust one another, love each other unbiased Lee and without expectation and most importantly be true to yourself with regard to your wants, needs and desires. Love your partner as you yourself desire and deserve to be loved.

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