When It’s Over


It has been said that at some point all good things must come to an end; to some extent this is a true sentiment. The part that separates the men from the boys and the girls from the women is how one chooses to deal with the ending of something they once held dear.

As with all things beautiful in life there is a dark side and the ending of a once loving relationship can bring out the worst in people. Hurt breed bitterness and bitterness breed ugliness. Simply put, a person with a broken heart will most often talk and behave uncharacteristically. Now, I’m not saying that because someone with a broken heart has a free pass to act a fool but it happens.

When a relationship ends tempers flare, feelings are hurt and people lash out. If you find yourself on the receiving end of the ugliness, I implore you to always be aware of everything happening around and to you. Document everything; keep messages, voicemails, texts, social media posts and so on. You never know when the “injured” party will strike out. If you are the injured party, I would advise that before you make any rash decisions and/or snap out you take stock of your life and what is at stake as everyone will not perceive you as the victim and may respond in return with aggression.

Emotionally, one must be able to step outside of the hurt and full inventory their emotional and psychological well-being. All relationships end for a reason and regardless of fault the fact remains that it ended. Mourn the loss of the relationship, take note of the parts you played in the relationship’s demise, work at being a better you for the yourself as well as your next relationship and move the heck on. There is no need to dwell on the ideals of what “once was”.

The worst thing a person can do at the ending of a relationship is brood over the loss. The longer you hold on to the negative feelings related to the break-up the longer it will take you to get over it.

Here are some tips designed to help you move on:

  1. Don’t contact the person (if there are children involved; only contact the other party as it relates to the kids…nothing more).
  2. Don’t lurk/stalk the person on social media – cut all ties (no need to torture yourself with what that person is doing as they move on).
  3. Cut ties with the person’s family even if only for a while. We tend to form bonds with families that we don’t want to let go of but you have to…at least for a little while.
  4. Don’t let mutual friends report that person’s movements to you. When someone tries to broach the subject of your ex, don’t indulge them – shut the conversation down immediately.
  5. Work on you – meditate, journal and/or try therapy to help you process.

Don’t let a relationship coming to an end define your existence.

Bitterness is not an attractive trait – shake it off and keep it moving.


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